The Hunted & the Hind: Editing sometimes means losing the good bits

Another post about The Hunted and and Hind, including a big deleted scene this week. I have just finalised the audiobook with Callum and so it will be going up to Findaway Voices in the next week or two and appearing at all your favourite online retailers soon after that.

Audiobook cover, The Hunted and the Hind

Hunted is the third in my 1920s London trilogy that began with Lost in Time. They are historical books with a paranormal twist and Hunted is the one with the most paranormal shenanigans and therefore, for me, the most difficult to write. Eventually it came in at just over forty thousand words, edited down from just over fifty.

It was so, so painful to cut out all those words I’d hammered out in the early mornings last summer and I really felt like I’d wasted my time. I’d got sucked down a rabbit-hole of too much fantasy world—in all my other books, not just the 1920s ones, the paranormal world is glimpsed from this one and is supposed to be a tip-of-the-iceberg type arrangement where neither characters nor readers can see all of it. But at the end of Shadows on the Border, poor Sergeant Will Grant got sucked through the border (or maybe he jumped through?) after Fenn, who was returning home. I knew I wanted them to be together, but I also felt it was a cop-out to just have them pop back into 1920s London from Fenn’s world at the beginning of the next book as if they’d hidden in a cupboard for a while and then re-emerged.

I ended up writing quite a bit of what turned into backstory or maybe an alternate timeline set in Fenn’s world. A few of the scenes have ended up in the finished book, but a lot of them were cut—this one for example and the one below. And the not-popping-out-of-a-cupboard problem was solved by having them re-emerge from Fenn’s world in Egypt and having a two week journey back to England.

Luckily this has given me lots and lots of deleted scenes to share! The only thing I kept in the final book from this one is the lim-moss that provides the lighting. Here it is! And do keep an eye out for the audio book in the next few weeks if you are an audio type of person!

Deleted Scene

Will leaned his head back against the wall. It was lovely to be properly warm. He didn’t think he’d been warm in all of his body at once since they’d come through the Border. “I fell.” He stated the obvious. “I fell and I put my shoulder out. I, er. I rather lost track for a bit.”
Fenn was looking at him with that steady, slightly unnerving gaze. “Come, Will. Come and bathe.” He extended a hand and Will grasped it, grateful for the help getting up. Fenn was in some sort of loose robe affair, not quite dressing gown, not quite thobe. Will still wore the remnants of his slacks and shirt.
“Let me help you?” Fenn asked him.
“Yes. All right.” He could do with the help. Fenn stepped close and put his hands inside the padded coat, on his shoulders as he slid it off down Will’s arms. He laid it on the stone bench beside them. Then he started to unbutton Will’s shirt, fumbling a little with the tiny mother of pearl buttons. Will half-shut his eyes and enjoyed not having to think of anything. “That should probably be burned.” he commented as Fenn laid that aside too. “It all should, really. I’ve been wearing it for days”.
“It is certainly not in the cleanest of conditions.” There was a smile in Fenn’s voice as he put his hands on Will’s belt. “This next?”
“I can do it.” Will’s voice was not quite steady as he took over. There was something very comforting about letting Fenn look after him. Dangerous, his hind brain told him. Dangerous to get used to it.
“Very well.” Fenn waited for him to push his trousers down and step out of them and then started unbuttoning his combinations, gently easing them over his duff shoulder. “There. It hurts?”
“Not as much as it did.” He scrunched his face up. “I’m almost getting used to it, it’s been in and out so much.” He carefully pushed his underwear down to his ankles and stepped out, naked.
“Come.” Fenn took his elbow and guided him down some shallow steps in to the pool. The warm water lapping higher around him was an almost erotic pleasure. He sighed. The pool was about chest depth and large enough to comfortably float and splash about. There seemed to be a sunken stone bench around the edges. Fenn drew him to it and sat beside him. The light was coming up from underneath.
“What’s causing the light?” he asked, with idle curiosity.
“We call it lim-light. It’s a kind of moss. We use it everywhere – you just need a little piece of it and it spreads steadily. Very convenient.” Fenn laid his head back on the edge of the pool and sunk down a little further, shutting his eyes. “Graces, I missed this. Your people do not have good baths, Will Grant.”
He sounded so complacent that Will chuckled a little. He could feel the aches soaking out of him already. He splashed Fenn with a small wave that lapped over his face, making his silver eyelashes clump together as he laughed softly and opened his lids a little, directing his sleepy gaze at Will, eyes still protected by that inner eyelid. “It is true. You know it is true. Since, since the Romans! You have not had proper baths.”
Will snorted at that. “You aren’t allowed to read my mind in order to be smug at me.” He chided.
“It was on the surface. You were shouting.” Fenn shut his eyes again, glimmer of humour fading. “You did not ask me about Keren.”
“No.” Will was solemn now, too. “No. I didn’t. I just assumed. When you didn’t come back. Is he still alive?”
“No. No, he is not. He tried to escape when he realised that I could not come back and the carnas got him by the shimmer, out at the Eastern Point, where I first went through. Malach said it was quick.” He passed a hand over his lashes, rubbing dampness off them. “I loathe Malach. I always have. They are always so reasonable.” He sat up and pushed off with his feet, moving to the other side of the pool, unable to stay still. “I understand their position. Of course I do. But to use my sibling to force me in to something I would have done regardless.” He put his hands over his face. “I am at a loss, Will.”
Will stood too and went over to him, waist deep in the warm water. What could he say? There was nothing to say to a man who’s brother, little more than a child, had been killed by those things. And for no reason. Just another senseless death. He found that he had said it aloud. “A senseless death.” He put his hand on Fenn’s shoulder, a firm, comforting grip.
Fenn moved closer, resting his head on Will’s shoulder, his hand on Will’s neck to hold him close. Will brought his other arm around him and clasped him tightly, in silence. It was perfectly peaceful in the cavern, like this. No sound except the deep green lapping of the water and the steady breathing of two people who had lost more than either of them deserved. Fenn stepped back a little, opening up the space between them. “For all that you have done for me, Will Grant …” he raised his gaze from the surface of the pool and met Will’s as he stretched out a hand and very lightly touched Will’s wet shoulder. The water droplets glimmered with lim-light as he removed his hand. Will shut his eyes briefly at the intensity of the sensation. When he opened them again, Fenn was watching him. His nictating membrane was open in the dim light of the cavern and the beech green of his eyes was as startling as the first time Will had seen it. Neither of them moved. They were both breathing as if they had been running. “For all that you have done for me, Will … I am thankful.” His voice was lower than before.
He dropped his eyes to his fingers as he raised them out of the water again to Will’s shoulder, running them slowly down over his pectoral to his nipple. Will watched too, biting his lip and concentrating on keeping his breath steady. The long, elegant fingers circled around the little peak, pearled with water. “Fenn.” He said.
“Will.” Will could hear the hunger in his voice, hidden under a smile.

#AmReading

More listening this week! KJ Charles, Jez Morrow and Jude Lucens with three gay romances (one of which is also poly). All brilliant books.

Behind These Doors by Jude Lucens (audio)

I read Behind These Doors when it first came out and loved the complex, realistic description of a poly relationship and all the bumps and dips that need to be ironed out to make them work. The fact that it’s set in 1906 just made it easier for me to pick up!

The POVs are are Aubrey Fanshawe, in a fourteen year old relationship with a married couple and his new lover, Lucien Saxby, a journalist who’s family work in domestic service. He has casual sex with various men amd a steady lover in Ben. Its an interesting exploration of social expectations and mobility as well as a complicated and touching love story. I love poly stories, where the characters find their ways toward each other with painful honesty that requires introspection and self knowledge. The book delivered all this when I read it.

Now I need to confess… since I first read it, Jude has become a mate. So when she offered me a review copy of the audio I was a bit wobbly about it because I feel I can’t put a review up on Amazon or GR for her, only here on the blog. AND THEN, of course, Callum Hale is her narrator. Who also narrates for me. So obviously I’m incredibly biased. Please take this under advisement when reading on!

Yes. I think the narration makes a brilliant book even more brilliant, okay? When I started listening it was a bit weird, because I knew I was listening ‘Callum’s interpretation of….‘ each of the characters. I got stuck a bit for a while because I think I was listening in work mode rather than pleasure mode. When I came back to it though, my brain seemed to have got over that and I could accept the characters for themselves. Callum’s talent shines through and it made it all come to life. So, if audio interpretations of wonderful, historical, complex poly romances are your thing then you should put this on your TBR.

Think of England by K. J. Charles (audio)

Single POV historical spy thriller by the ever reliable KJ Charles. Poor Victorian wounded-hero archetype Archie is just so NICE and I love him. He exists in a perpetual state of bewilderment for almost the entire book, stolidly seeing what needs to be done and doing it. On the backs of such chaps was the British Empire built and eventually, when they realised what a rubbish idea it all was, their hands helped pull it down again. He’s just perfect. Not my type, I have to add…I’m much more attracted to Daniel, the billiard-playing, poetry-writing spy. I’m the Archie in this scenario, just so we’re clear. Unexciting, plodding along, getting the joke about half an hour after everyone else, strangely fixated on someone unsuitable’s buttocks in their tightly cut trousers.

Anyway. That’s enough of that. It’s an Edwardian country-house mystery with added gay romance, set in Northern England. The narration is an exact fit and it added loads to the story. Go for it.

Force of Law by Jez Morrow (audio)

I really like this novella. It was one of the first MM books I read, way back when I first got an ereader. The story is a sweet romance about a lowly mechanic being swept off his feet by a millionaire, with dark touch of distrust at the beginning, and depictions of homophobia and violence. It has a satisfying ending and the characters really jump out from the page.

Having said all that, the audio didn’t work as well for me as the written words. It seems to take me a while to get to grips with a new narrator and it might have been that…I am going to go back and re-listen and see whether I get on better second time round. Recommend the story, though–and there was nothing that I could put my finger on with the narration and say ‘I didn’t like it because…’ it was just that it didn’t quite click for me.

That’s the lot! Happy reading!

The Hunted & the Hind: Knitting a universe versus snappy dialogue

Cover, audiobook, The Hunted and the Hind

I thought I’d talk a bit today about the differences between writing historical stories and paranormal stories, with particular reference to The Hunted and the Hind, which is coming soon to audio. Most of my stories have magic and the paranormal in them, but I see myself as being more a historical writer than a fantasy writer—I try and get my history right and then throw in the extra ‘what if’ of the magic.

One of the things I like a great deal about my paranormal universe is that no-one, not even me, knows exactly how everything fits together. This is great as a writer because you can basically darn up plot-holes as you go along, but it is also a bit nerve-wracking, because you can write yourself into those same plot holes and it’s excruciating trying to dig out of them. Someone on twitter asked how I kept track of my magic system a while back and my answer was that I didn’t really, but in my head it looks like a room full of balls of wool and excited kittens. This is still true, although since that conversation I’ve started keeping detailed notes because it was all getting a bit out of hand.

Writing the historical parts of the stories is completely different. I like to have a clear idea of the period I’m writing in—for the 1920s now, I think I’ve got quite a grip on it. I started off with family stories about the period and then did lots of reading around, about specific areas of London, specific things that happened that I wanted to touch my characters in some way. It’s a much more measured approach. I sometimes get sidetracked by research into things that seem to blow up in my mind as immensely important and might only have a sentence in the finished book. In The Flowers of Time, for example, I became obsessed with how to make light in the Himalayas in the 1700s and ended up making not only my own butter-lamps, but my own butter.

For The Hunted and the Hind I got sucked down a sea-travel rabbit-hole that seemed to be endless. The characters take a liner home from Egypt to England and I needed to satisfy myself that I’d got the detail right before I started shoving magical happenings into the story. That seems to be the way it works for me—I get the historical period straight in my mind, I have my characters and then I say ‘what if this happened?’. It’s my own particular version of the writer habit of killing your darlings.

As the writer though, one of the most fun things about the 1920s books is the snippy dialogue between the main characters. It was really nice to get back into that when I began to write again. However, I didn’t want Hunted to be another Alec and Lew book, they’d had their turn and I wanted to focus on Fenn and Will. I ended up cutting quite a bit of Alec and Lew scenes because they were just there so I could write snarky dialogue that ending in shagging. Which is what I have as a deleted scene for you today!

The Hunted and the Hind is coming to audio in the next few weeks, narrated by the inestimable Callum Hale–catch up with the audios of Lost in Time and Shadows on the Border here.

The Hunted and the Hind

#3 in the Lost in Time 1920s series.

Inadvertently tumbling through the border into the Outlands after Fenn, Sergeant Will Grant of the Metropolitan Police has spent three months imprisoned by the Frem. When Fenn frees him, they step through the border to the Egyptian desert. It’s a two week ocean-liner journey back to England, with the possibility of magical pursuit. Will the journey give Fenn and Will time to resolve the feelings they have been dancing around since the day they met?

Listen to Angel Martinez reading an excerpt for Friday Reading Day.

#3 in the Lost in Time series. m/enby paranormal, historical, romantic suspense of 40,400 words set in 1920s London. Sequel to Lost in Time and Shadows on the Border, which should be read first. The Lost in Time trilogy.

Deleted Scene from The Hunted and the Hind

“No,” said Alec, very firmly.
“I think you should,” said Lew, mildly. “It would be very helpful.”
“No,” said Alec, again.
“Please?” Lew tried.
Alec sighed. He was going to lose this battle. “Honestly, I have no idea what I’m going to do about it,” he said. “We can’t go on much longer…his mother…,” he trailed off.
“Well, yes,” Lew said. “You’ll have to speak to her. But…,”
“What?”
“She must know about the border, mustn’t she? Grant had training from his father.”
There was a thoughtful pause.
“Yes…,” Alec said, finally.
“So, and forgive me if this seems in any way less simple than it seems…we could just tell her the truth.”
That honestly hadn’t occurred to Alec. He stared at Lew.
“The truth?”
“Yes. The truth.” He paused. “Horrific thought that seems?”
There was a relatively long silence.
“Well…,” Alec was just making noises with his mouth whilst his brain processed.
Lew turned his head on the pillow and looked at him enquiringly. “Yes…?”
“The truth? I suppose…,”
“Yes…,” Lew’s tone was one of exquisite patience. Alec realised he was taking the mickey.
“Oh, do be quiet,” Alec conceded. “Fine. We’ll tell her the truth.”
“Will said she was away,” Lew said. “Can you find out when she’s back?”
“I’ll telephone her house,” Alec conceded. “And make some inquiries.”
“Good plan,” Lew said. “Well done for coming up with it!”
Alec punched him in a friendly fashion on his naked shoulder and things quickly deteriorated in to activities that meant words weren’t very necessary.

#AmReading

This week, two gay mystery romances (one in audio) and an absorbing fictionalisation of the story of the first Black women officers in the US army in WW2.

Prodigal by T. A. Moore

A satisfying story about a boy who disappeared fifteen years ago. Morgan can’t remember anything before he was eight and his memories of being passed from pillar to post in foster care are really messed up. Is he Sammy Calloway? Boyd was Sammy’s best friend and he doesn’t know either.

There’s angst, vulnerability and pushing people you’re falling in love with away before they can hurt you. There’s a rich backstory and cast of secondary characters and I like how some of the sub plots are left to spin themselves out in your head…you’ve got enough clues to work out what’s going on, but it’s not spoon fed to you. I recommend.

Sisters in Arms by Kaia Alderson

The story of the first Black women officers in the US army in WW2 through a fictionalised lens. An utterly absorbing story from the creation of the first Black unit in the WAAC, through recruitment, training and deployment to serving in France.

The women faced racism and sexism at every stage and came out triumphant. This book left me smiling– the two main characters are skilfully woven in among the historical figures of the 6888th Central Postal Directory Battalion and are sympathetic, flawed and very real. Just up my historical street and a joy to read–the writing is beautiful. Plus there’s a list of source material at the back which delighted my inner historical nerd.

P. S. I Spook You by S. E. Harmon (audio)

This is already a comfort re-read for me and the audio lived up to my expectations. If you like your detectives with a side-order of sass and talking to dead people, this is definitely worthwhile, however you read it.

The narrator, Noah Michael Levine, hit the same note for the characters that I had given them in my head and I was able to go along for the ride. I often find I pick up details in the audio that I miss reading on the page and this was the case here…description of surroundings and what people are wearing that add depth and colour to the plot that I sometimes don’t absorb, as I read fast. I’m looking forward to listening to the other two in the trilogy.

That’s the lot for this time!

#AmReading

This week, sapphic time-travel with One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston and two well-know gay romances that I’ve been listening to in audio, For Real by Alexis Hall and the Adrien English series by Josh Lanyon.

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston

This is by the author of Red, White and Royal Blue, which I haven’t read and am now going to! It’s a sapphic time-travel found-family story set in New York in the present. The main character is August, who is twenty-three and searching for a place to fit. She has had enough of her mother, who is obsessed with finding her older brother who disappeared in the 1970s and has moved to start a new life. The other main character is Jane, who August keeps meetings on the subway. To begin with, Jane can’t remember being anywhere else. It’s clever and funny and heart-warming and I loved it.

It’s got a really good range of secondary characters which includes great trans rep.

For Real by Alexis Hall (audio)

This is one of my favourite books on the page and I recently bought the audio. I seem to be on a roll with books about belonging this week. Although it’s about a BDSM relationship, it’s not about sex. Sure, there’s loads of sex in it, but it’s the feelings and the dynamic between the characters and their need to find somewhere to fit that keeps me coming back. Laurie is forty-ish an ER doctor, jaded, sad. Toby is nineteen, lost, not quite sure what he’s looking for in life but knowing he wants someone to submit to him. They’re both clever overthinkers. They fit together and the story is about how they both come to see that.

It’s a dual-narration audio and the characterisation is perfect, particularly Toby, who is just…enchanting.

Adrien English series by Josh Lanyon (audio)

Another old favourite here. Snarky bookseller/writer/amateur detective falls for closeted cop in Pasadena, California. Five books of well-narrated mystery-cum-love story ensue. It’s such a well done series and there’s nothing I can say about it that hasn’t already been said. Fatal Shadows was first published in 2001 by Gay Men’s Press, and it’s now a bit of a blast from the past—pre smart-phone, which is the main thing that stood out to me when listening last week! It’s not dated at all, I emphasise; but it was interesting to listen and remember how things were such a short time ago.

The audio is new to me and is definitely worth a listen.

That’s the lot!